To The Kelvin Family,

I offer my deepest condolences for the loss of your son. Now that I sit here on death row I realize the weight of my decision. I cry because of it.

We were the happiest of newly weds. Just a simple smile from him made me glow for hours. Nothing could surpass our love for each other. I remember him carrying me over the threshold, kissing me, holding me. I remember the conception of Devin that fateful honeymoon night. Oh, how I miss him so.

After our first year of marriage my love for him was just as strong as it ever was. So I was completely flabbergasted when a teenage girl came to the doorstep claiming to bear Ray’s child. It hurt so bad. But not once did my love for him falter. Not even when he admitted that the child was his and he invited “her” to live with us. I loved him, you must believe me.
It all started out with me deciding to teach him a lesson. I had no idea of the consequences that would follow. I took his gun from the upper left drawer of his desk, he always kept it there. He was a man of organization and schedule. He always left the gun empty in case little Devin were to get his hands on it, so I didn’t even bother to check it.

I knew where he was going to be. In “her” room, laying with “her”, laughing with “her”, and talking of “her” baby. I also knew that their relationship had grown sisterly since the affair. So I had no motive, I loved him.

All I wanted to do was scare him. I wanted to let him know that if he hurt me again I’d kill myself. So why point the gun at him? I had tried to tell him at dinner, but he had waved it off nonchalantly. I wanted to be sure he heard me, to scare him into hearing me.
I walked up to “her” room and opened the door slowly. There he lay with his head on her tummy. I pointed the gun at him. “Don’t move”, I told him. The look on his face was one of horror, a face I had never seen before and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Honey”, I said, “I-I love you.” Now by this time I'm shaking. You know how I was never good at giving speeches or confrontation, it always gives me the shakes. “I swear I’ll kill myself if you ever hurt me again. Do you hear me?” I just barely squeaked out as I stepped up to the bed, gun still raised. “I hear you Martha” he told me.

His hand reached for the gun. I walked forward to give it to him. My finger was at the trigger. He yanked it towards him. It went off. Bullet went straight through his head and continued through her belly to kill their child. I loved him so.

All because wanted my husband to truly hear me. All because I decided that I was going to scare him. All because I decided it was my role to teach him a lesson.
I love him and miss him. Now that my last meals approaches I cry. It wasn’t meant to turn out this way at all. It has left you, such a wonderful family grieving. It has left her baby-less. It has left Devin fatherless and soon to be motherless as well.

I never would have imagined this in a million years. I just wanted to scare him. I love him. I always will. I hope that God will forgive me, take pity on my grieving soul and let me see John in the afterlife. I ask your forgiveness. I know it won’t bring him back, but please understand. I loved him, and I would never do anything to intentionally hurt him.


Sincerely,
From Death Row,
Mrs. Martha Colley John Kelvin